One minute I’m happy with you then the next minute I’m insecure servings guessing my decision our decision. I mean it’s not like i can just forget everything I’ve tried cleaning off the old slate and starting a new one but let’s be real every time i forgive or im completely over something, something or should i say someone else happens
I’m trying so hard to be happy and to believe but that lil guy keeps popping up and reminding me of the lies and hurt. Im hella insecure because of you more than i was before I’m not good enough im not as pretty as the girls you once talked to had a crush on I’m not entertaining or smart i can’t talk like I’m educated although i am and i can’t keep you nor your attention so a party of me is saying i don’t need to be with you but the other half of me is like you are all i need. As much as i want to get married there’s some things that needs to get worked out and talked about but I’m not looking forward to the attitude and belittling i know you will give me. I’m conflicted and battling myself over you and there are so many other distractions in stl that i get these dreams telling me that you will forget me once again but I stay cause once again i believe in your words that come from the same mouth and mind that had hurt me throughout the years. But i believe anyway i just wish there was something that could tell me that my decision our decision is right i won’t be pained again. Something that’s a sign instead of words.
Thoughts are forever ugly
I think about you all the time.
And I know I shouldn’t
But I do.